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Domestic Violence: Interview with Rita Ciafani
What Is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence is control by one partner over another in a dating, marital or live-in relationship. The means of control include physical, sexual, emotional and economic abuse, threats and isolation.
Survivors face many obstacles in trying to end the abuse in their lives (although most are able to)... psychological and economic entrapment, physical isolation and lack of social support, religious and cultural values, fear of social judgment, threats and intimidation over custody or separation, immigration status or disabilities and lack of viable alternatives. Increased public, legal and healthcare awareness and improved community resources enable survivors to rebuild their lives.
Who Is Affected by Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence occurs in every culture, country and age group. It affects people from all socioeconomic, educational and religious backgrounds and takes place in same sex as well as heterosexual relationships. Women with fewer resources,girls, and those experiencing physical or psychiatric disabilities or living below the poverty line are at even greater risk for domestic violence and lifetime abuse. Children are also affected by domestic violence, even if they do not witness it directly.
How Do You Know If You Are Being Abused?
Abusers use many ways to isolate, intimidate and control their partners. It starts insidiously and may be difficult to recognize. Early on, your partner may seem attentive, generous and protective in ways that later turn out to be frightening and controlling. Initially the abuse is isolated incidents for which your partner expresses remorse and promises never to do again or rationalizes as being due to stress or caused by something you did or didn't do.
EARLY SIGNS OF ABUSE:
- Quick whirlwind romance
- Wanting to be with you all the time; tracking what you're doing and who you're with
- Jealousy at any perceived attention to or from others
- Attempts to isolate you in the guise of loving behavior (You don't need to work or go to school; we only need each other, criticizing friends/family for not caring about you)
- Hypersensitivity to perceived slights
- Quick to blame others for the abuse
- Pressures you into doing things you aren't comfortable with (If you really love me, you'll do this for me)
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